Dance partners

This semestre has been rocky. What started off as a muy bonito relationship con Cristo turned into a giant winding circle around and around. It was never ending. Too the point where I was ready to give it all up. To welcome the chains that would hold me down. I began my dance with sin. Which was slow at first. Because my right hand still held God's as our dance was not over yet. But my left hand gripped sin's as the dance began. Around and around I began. I began to lose myself as my face turned toward sin. My right hand began to feel...empty.

I knew where I was standing was wrong. My dance partner held too tight. Forcing this new dance upon me. Taking me back to where we had left off before. But in my heart I knew it was wrong. My dance partner gripped too hard. It hurt. As the dance went along though, I tried to leave. But by myself I was too weak. I couldn't stop. In pain I let out a cry to God. A cry for help.

They came for me. My dear friends. I felt the pull away from sin. They turned me around. I faced truth. I faced love. I faced a gentle grip. I held out my right hand and God took it once more. I began my dance with God. Not ever wanting to let go.

I know that I will always have temptation. I know that my walk with God will be hard. But I am willing to walk with God through any hardship or any trouble. It's not worth it to just throw away something so beautiful as the love God has given us. Why should God be compared to $100,000? Why should God be compared to a really expensive car? Why should any of that matter above God? I choose to keep dancing with God. To give him my everything. I give him all of me. I'm not throwing away eternal life with Him. Nor am I throwing away His love or grace.

I've learned. I have faith in God.

Buckets

So, I recently made a bucket list (or a list of things I would like to do before I die) and me being a regular coffee drinker (I'm addicted) I put on there that I would like to be able to walk into a coffee shop and they know ecactly what it is I want. My, usual that is. And at my school we have a coffee shop. I do buy a medium white chocolate mocha with no whipped cream everyday. So, I think it's only a matter of time before they realize it. I can't wait!

It was funn making my bucket list. I think it's something everyone should try. Cause now there are things I am definitely focusing on more. It's my top 25. Cause that's all I could cone up with.

1) publish a book
2) attend the world cup (at least once)
3) keep a garden (flowers)
4) backpack across Europe
5) become fluent in 1 or more languages
6) be licensed as a misionary
7) get married
8) be a mother
9) learn to ride horses
10) see wildlife up close
11) bike across Kansas
12) paint every room in my house a different color
13) read the bible Genesis-Revelation in a year
14) be part of a missions team
15) to be known at a cafe that everytime I walk in they know my drink
16) to not be rich with money or earthly things
17) to fall in love
18) everyday show the love of God to others
19) play hockey for fun
20) see Hillsong United live in concert
21) eat a large double cheesburger with large plate of cheesy fries and a sprite.
22) have a closet or something filled with jackets
23) to help in whatever way I can
24) go to a chiefs game
25) give all I can for someone.

There. Now go make Yours :) it'll be worth it. Btw this is in no specific order...just kinda wrote it all down.

A week of things

Well, this is pretty flippin awesome because I am updating from my iPhone WHILE at school on my break!! :)

So I can actually say that my week has been better than Peter Parker getting biten by a spider. Here are my reasons:
1) God has been a big part. Of this week (notthat he isn't any other time) and has made himself known to me again and again (defenitely NOT complaining here) and I loved itso much.
2) my school had this awesome campus kick-off thing they do every semester and I went to it and had an awesome time getting my face drawn, taking pictures with this guy I met that day (he is Australian), seeing more people I knew but didn't realize they went here, and meeting one of my old friends I've known since freshman year!!! It was awesome.
3) I got hired at build a bear!!! :) :)
4) I absolutely love jackets and I got 3 new ones memorial day :) one of which is really soft an comfortable :)
5) I am in love with God. I don't think I could ever say that enough.


Ok so in 2nd Samuel when It said David danced before the Lord. King David. a king. Dancing before the Lord. Because he loved him. He humbled himself before the Lord. Which is really awesome because yesterday while waiting for Spanish to start I myself wanted to do that. Dance before the Lord. I wanted nothing but to be near Him and be surrounded by his presence and love and glory. To follower after that I had a 'God moment' or in other words God made himself known to me again. It wasn't big and grand but it Was lovely to me and beautiful. My favorite moments are with him. When he makes me smile or fills my heart with sudden love.

That is all.

Te gusta school? ....... no, no me gusta.

So graduation was in may....... This was how I felt. :)




So first day of college was August 18th....... The emotion and happiness I felt was intoxicating! I absolutely loved it and couldnt sleep the night before. :)








The third day of college came round........ was fun but the effect wore off as fast as it came :/






And thus I reach my third week........I cant wait till thanksgiving break!!! 
Already I have 2 tests and a quiz this week. I'm just OVERFLOWING with EXCITEMENT!!! .....not really though. 
Good news is though that Chi Alpha will start again. Last wednesday was our first meeting. :) 

school... school... school. Its right in front of us!!

School starts in 2 days!! wow, seems like this summer just flew by. But it was a fantastic summer! 3 weeks in England, 2 weeks of VBS (different VBS's), furthered my relationship with God, spent a lot of time with my nieces and older sister, got to know a few people in my life even more, spent a good amount of time at my church, went to Wichita a lot, and spent good time with my friends, also went to the lake. Oh i failed to mention that I also got the house to myself for 3 weeks (which was a blast) lol but i am very much glad my grandparents are back now. If i think back on all my past summers, I would definitely say this was the BEST summer I have had :). Now its college time. A new chapter in my life, full of new possibilities, a new start if I may say. That's kinda what it is for everyone. Its a brand new school year! Whether it be elementary, middle, high school or even college. They used to tell me, "Remember, this is a new year, a year to do better, a year to try different things. A year to do BETTER." (get the emphases on the better) lol When I was younger I didn't take school all that serious. It was pretty much a joke to me. Up until I got to high school that is. That's when I buckled down and started to focus.... more. And now, I kinda wish that i had taken school more serious when I was younger. I mean who knows, maybe in high school I could have been in totally different classes! Oh well, I made it though. I graduated and now I'm going to college. Quite exciting actually. So really, make the best of this school year (no matter what grade your in), and also do your best. Try to stay focused. Thats my plan this year :) Good luck!! Have a blast!

A title of its own

 So I haven't been on top of posting blogs everyday (like I told myself I would) and I'd like to apologize for that. These past 8 days have been so busy. I've literally come home and fallen asleep after eating a little food (sometimes i would forget to though) or crash at a friends house (which is always fun although sleep is like a big ZERO). Here is a mixture of what the past week was like:
 1) VBS all week (which was so much fun)
 2) Job hunting (its like no one is hiring)
 3) School (i know school hasn't started yet but I recently bought all my school books which turned into $398.92!!)
 4) Watching the house and the dog (grandparents went on vacation)
 5) Buying a new Mac and ipod touch (the ipod is so amazing i am very fascinated with it)
 6) Also hanging out with friends of course
It was a very eventful week if I might say so myself. But the weird thing is I like having much to do.
Also, speaking of staying at friends house, the past few days I've stayed a few nights at my second house :P (they are Ethiopian which is so amazing, in fact I've learned a few words and a question in Ethiopian) anyway, I absolutely love it there. Specially when we get to eat Ingera. I've recently had the opportunity of trying this food called kitful (which is raw meat and spices). Sounds weird yes, but in fact its very tasty. I greatly enjoyed it and would gladly have it again. Although after two bowls my mouth was on fire. :) So to cool it I enjoyed a nice cup of fabulous tea with their mother (or mom to me). Oh goodness I was SO full after that! The funny thing though is that we were also cooking a bunch more food and she kept insisting I eat. Ha ha I couldn't eat another bite I was so full (but still so happy and ready for a nap). I would also like to point out that every house i walk into food is always upon me. That same night (while still full from all that kitful) I went to pick up another Ethiopian friend. I walked into her house and her mother took me to the kitchen and said eat eat. So I did (luckily it was vegetables and chicken and nothing too filling) and it was very tasty. I absolutely love it at their house. Either house really. If I could live at the house i call my second house i definitely would! Lol it would be really awesome and I might even have loads more time to learn more Ethiopian.

that spark

      So, i know that right now it is August 5th, but to me it is still August 4th. Today was the first day of VBS (Vacation Bible school) at the Church Of Hope. Very exciting! :) Well, I'll skip ahead and pass the day by in a blur. well lets stop.... here, (at the church of hope now). Standing outside are about 6 or 7 of us. Inviting people to come. Pastor Bill and a few others decided to go canvassing again (cause there were like no kids at all) so we went. It was tons of fun! Well, I'll skip ahead again, (i know its probably annoying but I need to) so anyway, we are almost done and we stop at this tiny little store (i dunno what to call it exactly) and there are kids, we can see them running in and out. lol it was funny. but we sat there debating whether or not to skip it and leave or talk to the kids. So pastor Bill tells me to get out of the car and go do my thing. lol (it was funny the way he said it) So i got out and went up to the boy (he probably thought i was crazy when i started talking to him) but he stayed and when i  asked for his parents he said they were inside. So he told his mom i was there. well, when he opened the door a few kids began to make their way over to me. I was probably as curious about them as they were me (or probably not as curious on my part but more of asking myself if they have heard of God before) but I started to talk to them. and the moment I said the word church the little boy and the little girl started jumping up and down yelling "i wanna go to church" over and over again. It was so cute and adorable. well, they came outside with me and i started talking to them more asking about their church life and all. The little girl said they haven't and i asked why and her reply was "I woke up late so we couldn't go". (I was literally thrown back in my mind!) I asked her if she knew any bible stories. She shook her head no. So i sat down on the step (she sat next to me on my right and the little boy was hanging onto the railing and listening) and I began to tell the story of David and Goliath. After that they were both amazed at... God! It was an amazing sight. You should have seen the look on her face. I asked her if she wanted to hear another and she said yes. So i told her of Joseph. And the boy piped up and said he didn't have a bible. (I felt sad for him, it made me wish i had a bible with me to give to him) so i began to tell them more of VBS and church on Sundays/Sunday school. The little girl was amazed that she could hear more stories in Sunday school! :) then their mothers came out and i told them what i told the kids. and the girl's mother was debating on it and about the long walk. But the little girl was jumping and telling her mother she really really wanted to go to church. She looked up at me and with those cute little eyes asked who the Sunday school teacher was. I leaned down and smiled and said I was the Sunday school teacher along with my friend at the church. She smiled so big and lit up and said "YOUR the Sunday school teacher!? I wanna go to Sunday school now!". It was literally amazing. The way God planted a seed in her little heart and put a curiosity for Him there too. He put me in the same place with her to blossom that.... hunger. I thank God that I was able to help her through him. Oh the things God does and the way he does them is indescribable! I absolutely love it though! :) 
      *I want to keep her in my prayers, that spark i her was ignited today just by a short visit, i want God to keep that spark and turn it into a fire for him... a hunger for God alone. I ask you, if you read this, to keep her in your prayers as well. Her name is Hannah. That's all i know about her. But I feel God has a plan for her. and she can do so much with him in her heart. 
        I kinda like that. its actually pretty awesome how, something so simple from God can ignite a spark within us, only to form a curiosity, to deepen with a want, followed by a hunger, a thirst, and to keep a flame (a fire) for God! For his word. The things God does to draw us closer to him. It can even be different from another person. But we are all then connected by a similar desire..... a desire for God. I have a flame within my heart for God and God alone. I also have a hunger, for everything about him, for his word. To know everything about him to be closer to God and when I feel close I want to be even closer! :) I am in love with God! and these God moments that happen to me.... I love them! Even if I don't understand them at first. 

dead batteries.. car crash... and taco bell with God to end my day :)

     So to start this of... yesterday my car decided to throw my day downhill. I walked out of my church to take my friend home, well, when i went to start it... guess what!! My car WOULDN'T start. To add more, my car had just gotten out of the shop like 3 weeks ago. ':/ So we had to jump it. I got it home and put the charger on it. I charged it for 5 hours. Went to night church and came back and took it off. Well, today I was all ready to go to the community college (btw, i am an official student there!! :)) to get my id. i got in to start it and plooh it wont start! Nada! I think i called grandpa like 500 times because i was annoyed. Well, my friend and her mom came over and we went to get a new battery. Dude, her mom is like crazy awesome! She took the battery out and everything! I was amazed!! I wish I could do that. It would be totally awesome if i could learn how to work on cars. Well, back to my story. So anyway, on our way back with the new battery we witnessed a car crash!! This guy came out of nowhere and smashed into this lady's car! it was intense!! The guy's front was all jacked up! Like, the hood was bent up and the side above the tire was smashed and his light was hanging off. The lady's car was dented in on the driver side door. It was so bad her door wouldn't shut all the way. Its so weird, that in a single second something like that could happen. No one really thinks about that when driving down a simple road with a speed limit of...25, max! Makes one stop and think.... perhaps I should be more careful when driving (not that i already am)(i promise i am a careful driver) and more cautious. Well, maybe no one else thinks that. But today I did. As we sat in the taco bell parking lot. Of all places (cause the guy who hit the lady convinced her to move off the scene of the hit and into the taco bell parking lot). It was pretty crazy but it all ended well i guess. 
     Tonight was tons of fun! A group of us from church went down to the inner city to pass out fliers door to door. It is for a VBS (Vacation Bible School) we are putting on at the church down there. There are lots of people who don't speak english (or very good english) so i and my partner were speaking broken spanish to them. Haha :) it was neat though. Lots of people were happy to hear about VBS and what it was. But there were a few who really didn't care and they even told me. One guy (the last house to be knocked on) was actually a christian himself!! It was wonderful talking to him! He didn't have his little boy with him (he was with his mother apparently) but he was more than happy to take a few fliers to give to a family with kids for us! He even asked me, are you christian? I answered yeah I am actually. His eyes lit up, and he took a step back (more like jumped) and smiled so big and pointed at his chest and said ME TOO! I am christian too! It made me smile to see that God was getting around and into the hearts of others :) I love it! I cant wait to see the children coming to learn about Jesus and to have fun just being children and playing around! It will be amazing. 

fear?

In Great Silence

In great silence i hear you calling

whispers in my heart with every beat turn louder!

Still calling... still knocking.

"Dear child why have you left me?"

I hear your whispers, i hear your footsteps.

 In desperation I call out to you,

"My God, my father! I am lost,

I hear you but cant see!"

Take one step, two steps...

Sharp hands claw my wrist, 

Pulled down on torn knees,

Head pulled back I scream out in pain,

"My God, my savior, help me, rescue me, this pain I cant bear!"

Your voice, like thunder in a storm, call's out, "Demons be gone!"

Your arms catch me as I fall.

Your voice, like lilies in a field, whispers, "Do not fear, for I am with you."

             

         So i like to write. I mean God has gifted me with a talent for writing (so I've been told). But to me, its how i speak with God. Some hear him in song and in dreams. But i hear him through writing. Through pen and paper. This poem here, was written last year while i was struggling to know God and to be safe. This is definitely my favorite poem out of all i have written. Mainly because it was a major turning point for my walk with God. It was one of the first times I could actually feel his presence in my heart. I could feel these words wanting to be heard, to be read. God was talking to me through this... gift he had chosen for me.  That last line, "Do not fear, for I am with you." That line is my absolute favorite. Because no matter what we should always know that God is with us! So why fear? IN Psalm 23:4 it says, Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i will fear NO evil, for you (as in God) are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me. In Psalm 27:1 it says, The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall i fear?

           So all in all, God is totally right when he says do not fear. Guys, God is great! God is all powerful he is literally AMAZING!!!! So why fear when we have someone like God on our sides?? He is the God who told Moses to take the Israelites  out of Egypt. It was God who gave David strength to kill Goliath with just one stone. It was God, who in all his love for us, sent his ONLY son (Jesus) to die for our sins. To save you, and to save me. That's something to me. That is more than enough reason for me to not fear. God is great. 

            *So as a little side note, I've many more writings I would like to share with you later on.* 

My Supposed Tan

         Always wear sunscreen. Thats my lesson. It all started at the lake. Some friends and I decided we wanted to go jet skiing and boat riding. So of course we went. While figuring out how to get the jet ski started a few of us decided to go ahead to the swim part. Forgetting the sunscreen in the car of course. About 30 minutes into swimming the boat came round and we were told that there was an accident. I guess the trailer wrapped around and swung into the truck and left a giant dent in it. also the jet ski got smashed as well. So all in all it was a lovely time at the lake. But while we were swimming in the water we had a conversation about tanning. It was decided we would be waist deep in water and stand there so we could tan. Well, there was not enough time to tan so we talked on the way back about how to get tanned. Spray on tan was out of the question. No one wanted to be orange. Laying out under the sun was a good idea and going to a tanning bed was a possibility as well.  
        So, this morning while still having thoughts of tanning on my mind, i decided it to be a good idea to lay out under the sun. of course not even thinking about putting on sunscreen. So i grabbed my ipod, a blanket, and my sunglasses and headed out the back door (the dog trailing behind me). a good time was an hour I thought. 30 minutes on one side and 30 on the other. I wont burn that way. An hour later i went inside smiling (and dripping sweat) to take a shower and look at my new awesome 'tan'. I had to laugh because on my back was the outline of the string to my bathing suit! i look like a present from behind!! Well, earlier this evening i lifted my shirt again to look at it and wait..... its not a tan. its a SUNBURN!!